That Dream

Last night it really grossed me out to feel how much my body building boyfriends body is lacking. Its superficial I guess but it just threw me off. I'm so used to him being perfectly muscular and waking up to a hardbody but he was just thin and lacked muscle tone. But I digress, he's still the best but my lcb is much better, he has 7 years on my bodybuilding bf. Even when lcb doesn't workout for a while because on vaycay his body is still very hard. Yeah it is superficial and yeah I don't like that I'm like this. Why can't I be one of those girls who just dates a guy because he has a wonderful personality and dresses well but is a little chubby or something. Since I started dating I've always had a thing to hardbodies. Just guys who have a lot of muscle definition. I'm too buxom to date a skinny guy and I'm too tall to date a short guy. We'd look like scale opposites. Anyways yeah I'm content in my current relationships. I mean I'm dating workaholic, international and driven guys that have to be away still so I'm not getting as much attention as I feel i deserve sometimes but I don't want to be smothered. I'd rather long for the attention than get it. Because I know when I get it I'll feel smothered and wanna get out for a while and I've done that too many times.